Mistletoe
by GinnytheQueen
Summary: From City of Heavenly Fire to Lady Midnight: seven Christmases at the Los Angeles Institute. How Emma and Julian grew up, how their feelings changed... and mistletoe.


DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything. All the characters belong to Cassandra Clare.

* * *

2007

"Look, some **mistletoe**," Emma notes flatly and wonders who took the time to place some stupid plant in places where a stupid plant shouldn't be.

Julian hugs her more tightly.

"It doesn't really feel like Christmas without them, does it? Your parents, my dad, Helen, Mark…"

"We're allowed to miss them, Jules."

"Especially Mark?" he asks.

"Especially Mark," she replies.

"He used to give me hell. And the worst presents. Always making fun of me, and I'm pretty sure he hit me at least once when I was a baby. But I just _wish_ he were here, you know?"

"Yeah," Emma says.

"I feel like something is missing, like there's a hole in my heart and I can't do anything to fill it."

Emma knows. She wants desperately to fill that hole in Julian's heart, because she secretly wishes that he can fill hers. She misses her parents more than she can explain, and the Blackthorns more than she likes to admit.

But they're going to be a family. They're going to mend each other and complete each other and be each other's everything.

_Temper us in fire and we grow stronger. When we suffer, we survive. _

"We are going to get through this, Jules. Like we do everything. Together. We are going to train and we are going to be parabatai and we are going to rebuild this family. I promise."

Julian hugs her again, and Emma understands what some people mean when they say that a gesture is worth more than a thousand words.

* * *

2008

It's only when Tessa calls them all for dinner that Emma realizes that it's been one year without them.

They have lost parents and siblings, but their family has also expanded, and despite everything, Emma is grateful.

She watches Uncle Arthur – who is not her actual uncle – and Jem – who is, to some point – set the table, and she sees Diana carrying Octavian into the room and she hears Drusilla's screeches and Church's exasperated meows. She sits next to her parabatai and everything makes perfect sense, right at the center of that madness.

After, when Julian comments that there's some **mistletoe** right above them – that no doubt Tessa put there, Tessa loves Christmas – he doesn't hesitate in giving her a kiss on the cheek. It's the most natural thing in the world, but it makes Emma's world spin for a moment.

* * *

2009

Christmas is that time of the year when the Institute lights up. Completely. The children are merry, even if Tiberius claims he hates it. But then again, Ty claims to hate almost everything now. And everyone. Livvy forces him to wear a stupid Santa hat and that makes Tavvy laugh.

"You're standing under the **mistletoe**," Livia points out at some point.

Emma's and Julian's cheeks become hot, despite the winter cold and they look anywhere but at each other. Before anything else can be said, Jules excuses himself with some incomprehensible sputtered words. Emma avoids him for the rest of the night.

The party goes on and nobody seems to notice anything, but Emma doesn't feel that merry anymore.

* * *

2010

She can't remember what Christmas used to be like before. Before Tessa's enthusiasm came into their life. She insisted that Emma help her set up the decorations this year, and Emma has had her share of fun. Also, Tessa has got a huge belly this year. Everyone is super excited and Jem still doesn't believe he is going to be a father in a few short weeks.

Emma has made sure that there is no mistletoe dangling from the ceiling this year. Or from the doorframe. Or from any chandelier.

Julian has done most of the cooking and the dessert looks delicious.

Just when Emma is opening his present – a portrait of herself that he probably painted last summer – six-year-old Tavvy comes running by them, with a twig of **mistletoe** in his hands, making Julian laugh.

Emma guesses she'll have to hide that damned plant on a higher shelf of the closet next year.

* * *

2011

Just a few days before Christmas, Emma gets in a fight with a Raum demon and that doesn't end well. Uncle Arthur forces her to stay in bed for the following days, even if she claims she's fine, but Malcolm Fade tells her that she needs resting, so she stays put. Jules is with her most of the time, while the twins set up the Christmas tree.

Emma doesn't have the time to enact her plan against the evil holiday plant.

"Let's get away from the **mistletoe**, before one of the children says something stupid," Emma says hastly.

Julian just nods and they move away.

Emma feels a pang in her chest, but she just helps herself to some more chocolate cake.

* * *

2012

Everything about this year seems different. She's come to terms with her feelings, for instance. She knows she is in love with him. She knows and she can't help it. They are parabatai, it's against the Law, it's unnatural, it should feel _wrong_, but Emma has never felt more right than when she's standing next to him.

It's her darkest secret and her greatest sin.

Still, she doesn't try to avoid him, because they're supposed to be always together, as parabatai. And that goes just perfectly with her. She has developed strong self-control and a very convincing ability to lie and divert questions about her feelings.

That said, she should've see this one coming. She should've been ready.

"Are you two going to kiss?" Drusilla asks, gesturing to the **mistletoe** standing right above their heads. It's not her fault, that damned thing is _everywhere_ in the Institute, really.

Nonetheless, Emma is taken by surprise. Dru is not a child anymore, she should _know_ not to say such things.

Julian freezes on the spot, like a thief caught red-handed. One small part of Emma is hurt by his reaction. But she tries to regain her composure and fakes a chuckle. "That's funny, Dru. Why don't _you_ kiss Jules?"

Drusilla makes a face. "Ew. He's my brother."

_Brother_. _That's what a parabatai should be. A brother given by the Clave. _

"Exactly," Emma replies quietly.

That incident is never spoke of again.

* * *

2013

Nothing has changed in Emma's feelings.

Except for one thing.

This year, when they find each other under the **mistletoe**, Julian kisses her.

It's in his room and Emma suspects that he put it there on purpose, but she kisses him back happily.

It's not their first kiss. It's just the latest in a long list of stolen kisses they have kept secret for some months now.

Maybe the secrecy excites them both, because Jules's hands are sure and determined in her hair, on her back… Emma bites his lips twice before they separate to gasp for air.

His lips catch hers again and somehow, they end up on Julian's bed. Several minutes later, they're lying in each other's arms, their breathing uneven and their thoughts fuzzy.

"What are we doing?" Emma asks. "I mean, what are we gonna do? It's literally us against the world. The Clave, at least."

Julian caresses her cheek and his hand rests on her face. "We are going to face everything together, like you once told me on this night so many years ago."

Emma is about to say something, but he stops her with one finger. "We are going to be together, Em. One way or another. That's the only thing that matters." 

* * *

**Author's note**: hope you liked it!

I'm in love with these two and I can't wait for Lady Midnight.

What did you think of the story? Reviews would be very well appreciated.

Merry Christmas everybody!

_Ginny_theQueen _


End file.
